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11/4/10

Things You Can Do During an NFL/NBA Lockout – Vol 1

If you’re like me, the fear that the NFL will have a lock out (and the NBA if you’re into that kinda thing), started off as a mild concern and is growing into a full on panic as the weeks go by. The NFLPA has set up a site for info about the potential lockout and it’s clear from the information contained, they’re not playing around.

NBA players have already been warned by Commissioner Stern that salary expenses need to be cut by 1/3. In the NFL the circumstances are a lot less cut and dry. There are issues with NFL rules and salaries that aren’t just economic but ethical and life-altering. Right now, there aren’t many encouraging signs that there won’t be a lockout.

For this reason, I will be handing out suggestions during the current NFL and NBA season for things you all can do should your favorite team sports go on hiatus.

1. Learn a new language. More and more of the NBA and NFL’s players are from other countries. A lock out is the perfect time to figure out what the hell Houston Rocket Yao Ming and new Jersey Nets Coach Avery Johnson are trying to say. Johnson is American? Oh. Well, you get my point. With NFL players like Indianapolis Colt Pierre Garcon and New York Giant Osi Umenyiora, there’s plenty of motivation for some of you to learn Haitian Kreyol or proper English.

2. Write Redskins Offensive Coordinator Kyle Shanahan. Shanahan has quickly become the most annoying man in sports. Okay, maybe he’s not the most annoying, but he’s a close 3rd right now behind Lebron James and Dwyane Wade. I would tell you to write James and Wade but then Chris Bosh would have to take time out of his “busy” schedule to read your letters to them, and he’s probably already tired of feeling like a 3rd wheel.

Anyway, someone needs to let Shanny Jr. know what he needs to work on since his father won’t. On top of the fact that he’s made up 12 different reasons for why he can’t get along with America’s Sweetheart Donovan McNabb, he also has former NFL QB Chris Simms’ initials tattooed on his ankle which is a violation of 13 man laws and a felony in 3 southern states (he won’t get arrested for it, but that doesn’t change the fact that the laws are on the books). He needs to hear from the public all the reasons why very little of his behavior since 2006 is acceptable on any level.

3. Interview black players who’ve been Coached by Bill Belichick. This may seem like a random task, but now that I know that Belichick is the Negro Whisperer I’m obsessed with knowing how he does it. I’d love it if each of you could pick one former Patriot…maybe Ty Law? Lawyer Milloy? Randy Moss’ braids? and ask them some targeted questions so that the rest of us who are trying to get a rich handsome black man to fall for us without having to treat him well can know Belichick’s secrets.

Speaking of Randy Moss…

4. Find out what Randy Moss is smoking. I want some.

5.  Demand Congress conduct a FULL investigation into NFL ticket prices. This may seem kind of petty and random given the fact that there are millions of people in this country who go hungry and FOX has made such vast improvements to their game broadcasts, but this is important to me. Some of us still like to leave the house and go to the games. But by the time you buy tickets, pay for parking, and a hot dog, you’re already out $1500 that you could have spent on Perellis and high quality yaki. I shouldn’t have to sacrifice high performance tires and higher performance hair whippage just to go see the NY Giants take out yet another starting quarterback live and in person.

Hopefully this is enough to get you started…I’ll be back with more suggestions later!

11/3/10

ESPN says Bears Need Moss…Chicago Tribune says HELL NO

ESPN’s Jon Greenberg makes the case for why the Bears should sign Moss right away.

Case, yes. Glowing endorsement…not quite. It’s a curious article to say the least.

Greenberg writes:

Is everyone caught up? Well good, now let me just get up on my soapbox and tell a professional football team ranked in the top 32 by Forbes Magazine how to handle its business.

Sign Randy Moss. Sign him tomorrow and pay him the $3.38 million he’s owed for the rest of the season. You can pay him in “straight cash homey,” his preferred method of paying fines, or you can pay him in unsold Jay Cutler jerseys.

The Bears have wasted money on lesser players. Orlando Pace made almost twice as much last year as a turnstile operator. Money should not be an object for this franchise.

Just pay him and play him.

Sure, Moss is on the downswing of his epic career, and yes, he’s not the friendliest of guys or the easiest to coach or the first to avoid annoying a traffic cop.

At this stage of his career, the 33-year-old Moss is no sure thing. The New England Patriotswouldn’t have gotten rid of him otherwise, and the Minnesota Vikings wouldn’t be putting him on waivers after he ripped the team just yesterday.

Greenberg goes on to list all the negatives with Moss (dropped balls, unhappy over future, stiffing the media etc.) and lists only one real positive-that he’d be the best receiver on the roster.

You know, I had a conversation with a guy at a sportsbar a few weeks back about “best” player vs. “most productive.” I will take a productive player over one that is considered to be the best any day. What does it mean to be one of the best receivers in the league or even the best receiver on a team if you’re leading the league in dropped passes?

With the overall sour mood in the Bears locker room do they really need Moss who has made it clear that he’s not just unhappy about where he is, he’s unhappy about where he’s not.

The Chicago Tribune says NO MAS to the Moss talk:

Before anybody near Lake Forest posts “GROW MOSS HERE,” signs outside 1000 Football Drive or prints “WE WANT RANDY,” T-shirts, no, Randy Moss makes no sense for the Bears to consider.

Unless you think a me-first quitter well past his prime helps the Bears’ playoff chances. I don’t. When I think of Moss, who was waived by the Vikings on Monday, I see Manny Ramirez in shoulder pads. The Bears need a spark, not an explosion; intensity more than a player prone to long spells of indifference.

Moss may fit in perfectly in the Bears media room with his insolence but not so wonderfully in any locker room. His moody temperament gave the Patriots justification to trade him and the Vikings reason to think they were better without him despite their 2-5 record.

He remains as divisive as he is dangerous at this stage of his career, a talented player with Pro Bowl skill but diva-like tendencies who makes the atmosphere heavier every time he walks into a room or huddle.

While we’re having an emotional moment (yes, every moment we talk about Moss is emotional) I really wonder what makes guys like Moss tick. Here you have a guy who has made a lot of money and gotten a lot of respect but for some reason cannot seem to focus on anything beyond the negative. I wonder if, in 10 years, when Moss looks back on his career will he regret some of the things he’s said and done, especially those things that have happened since he’s been old enough to know better.

This is like when Michael Jordan gave that bitter ass Hall of Fame speech…this is like Allen Iverson signing with a Turkish basketball team. By all accounts Vikes Coach Childress handled this situations 11,000 different types of wrong, but still this is not the way I like to see sports heroes behave. I mean…he asked himself questions and answered them at the podium………………………………………

??

11/3/10

Girlie Entry: Happy Birthday to New Orleans Saints Safety Darren Sharper!

Darren Sharper Looking Better Than 99.99999999999999% of Men Without Even Trying

Every now and then I take a few minutes from scribbling “I love Darren Sharper” on every wall and piece of notebook paper I see, and actually pay attention to the way the man plays.

Every now and then…but mostly I make myself content with “oo la la’ing” over his photos and asking people how “J Danielle Sharper” sounds and whether or not people think Darren wants one more child or two (I am open to whatever he wants).

The Vikings let him go, but I wouldn't!

Now that Darren is off the PUP (physically unable to perform) list and back in the game, the Saints are looking better-and not just physically. Sharper has returned strong, in the last game alone he was in 13 defensive plays and four special teams. Sharper is still one of the best at getting to the ball and he topped off a strong return with one of his famous interceptions.

I just sprinkled sugar alllllll over this post, can you tell? You will never hear me speak this kindly about any other player and you will also never hear me speak ill of Sharper.

OMG!

When Sharper retires and someone asks me “who is the best safety currently in the league?” my answer will still be Darren Sharper. Sharper is also the best wide receiver, quarterback, running back, nose tackle, middle line backer, center, corner back, kicker, Coach and offensive coordinator.

*shrugs*

oo la la

At 35, Sharper is still the man and has experienced the type of longevity that many players can only dream of. I hope he enjoys his birthday today and goes into Week 9 ready to play hard once again.
11/2/10

Week 8 Recap: Is Favre’s Play a Miracle? Is Shanahan mentally sound? Is Belichick in the Illumanati?

Back in Shakesperean times, women weren’t allowed to be in performances. Men played all the parts in the dramas. Today, we call that football. Football is an all male Young and The Restless with enough drama for everyone from the casual watcher to the maniacal fanatic.

Week 8 served up plenty to talk about, and it’s always interesting how story lines are covered by different news outlets.

To start, the Washington Post’s Redskins blog rounded up all the reactions from people around the league regarding Shanahan’s what-the-fuck decision to bench McNabb in favor of Rex Grossman with 2 minutes left on the game clock.

The reactions were mostly angry. Actually, I was surprised at how angry they were. The only  mild reaction was the best one in my opinion. Michael Irving said:

“It wasn’t just taking Donovan out. It was bringing Rex Grossman in. All of our eyes have seen enough of Rex Grossman.”

Basically!

Michael Wilbon, Mike Ditka, Tony Kornheiser et al were more thorough in their statements, but Irvin’s sentiment was shared by all.

Unless you’ve been hiding inside Troy Polamalu’s luxurious locks the last 24 hours, you’ve probably heard that Randy Moss was unceremoniously waived by Vikings Coach Brad Childress. Not only was he waived, but he was the last to find out.

Jason Cole at Yahoo Sports didn’t like Childress’ decision one bit:

In announcing the team’s intentions to release Randy Moss(notes), Childress confirmed what many in the Vikings organization have believed about him for years: His management of people is questionable, his willingness to listen is nonexistent and his reaction to criticism is punitive.

This only confirms the growing tension that already existed in the Minnesota locker room before the season. Everyone in Minnesota knew back in training camp (and actually long before then), that Favre and Childress don’t get along. Favre doesn’t respect Childress, viewing him more as geeky impediment rather than a sophisticated football mind.

The difference with Favre is that Childress knows he needs Favre to have a real chance. Once Childress got Favre, there was no turning back. Make no mistake: Favre runs the show in that battle of alpha males.

When it came to Moss, Childress wasn’t going to let another player run roughshod over him. When Moss criticized the coaches Sunday after the loss to the Patriots, that was the tipping point.

I’m not fan of my-way-or-the-highway Coaches, I wrote about it when I gave my reaction to McNabb’s benching. So overall I don’t disagree with Cole. However, I don’t agree that “Childress knows he needs Favre to have a real chance.” I think it’s pretty clear the Vikings don’t have a chance with Favre. They’d probably be just as well to have Jackson QB with an experienced and prolific WR like Randy Moss to throw to.

I do agree that Favre is winning their battle, unfortunately there’s nothing to be won.

Who gets Moss? Guesses?

ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter said various league sources indicated the Washington Redskins, Dallas Cowboys, St. Louis Rams, Miami Dolphins, Oakland Raiders, Kansas City Chiefs, New York Jets, Seattle Seahawks, New England Patriots and the Bears could be possibly interested in making a claim for Moss.

The receiver will enter waiver process Tuesday, and there’s a good chance he could join a new team soon after he’s officially waived, considering his representatives — according to reports — have already been contacted by the Dolphins and Seahawks. The Buffalo Bills, by virtue of owning the worst record in the league, get first dibs on Moss, who will be awarded to the team with the worst record to put in a claim.

The fact that the Patriots are on that list just shows how odd the NFL can be sometimes. In terms of the list of interested teams, Moss might make a good choice for the Raiders and possibly the Seahawks, but Moss is gonna be a pain in the ass for any team that isn’t winning. Not sure how he’d be all that useful for the Dolphins. Unless he can gain 70 lbs in a week and get some blocking skills, the Skins should stay far away. And as far as I’m concerned the Jets need to work with what they’ve got.

(more…)

11/1/10

NFLPA Uses Dez Bryant’s $54K Dinner to Teach Rookies a Lesson About Money

Dez Bryant: the Rookie Who Refused

With a lockout appearing more and more likely by the day, players need to be focused on what really counts—their own pockets. And no matter how disrespected a teammate may have felt by you refusing to carry pads rookie-initiation style, the way to mend fences can’t be spending over $54 thousand dollars on a dinner. Not in this economy. Not right before a lockout. And certainly not under the watch of NFLPA President DeMaurice Smith.

Inspired by Bryant’s astronomical dinner tab, the NFLPA has created a contest called “Rookies—Carry the Pads! What you can buy for $54,896 (Besides a Steak Dinner at Pappas Bros.)”

“The contest asks rookies to devise a plan for spending and or investing $54,896. The owner of the best response will win a reasonable $150 dinner for two.

The program also attempts to illustrate the enormity of the figure. Per the Palm Beach Postrookies have been given these six alternatives for $54,896:

1. Condo in Tampa/St. Pete, fully furnished

2. 4 years college tuition at University of Texas at Dallas for your child

3. Funding for a foundation that changes the lives of inner city youth

4. Five months lockout insurance

5. Something else…

6. $1 million (deposit $54,896 and invest it for 37 years at 8% return)”

I love this idea and the longer Smith is in his position the more impressed I am with this man. While the NFL is focused making player’s better citizens—which is important—the NFLPA is focused on giving players a more realistic view of their lives.

I think that the goal of fixing player behavior (which is perceived to be more out of control than it is) is a good one; however it can also be accomplished by teaching players more about life and reiterating to them how consequential and fleeting time in the NFL can be. We don’t need players faking happy go lucky and charitable, we need players that can find genuine happiness, and develop a drive to be responsibile in spite of what the professional athletic environment may inherently encourage its employees to do.

With this lockout looming, it’s become more and more clear that the owners have very little motivation to aggressively work to prevent it. News hit a couple weeks ago when the NFLPA debuted its NFLlockout site, that the lockout could potentially financially benefit owners even as it devastates parts of many local economies as well as wasting a year of playing time in a game where players’ careers are already limited by age. Every year counts to these guys. They know this. But they need to understand that every dime does too.

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