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9/1/13

Quick Bit: I love Juicy J But He Can GTFO With His Twerking Scholarship

At least once or twice a week I make it my business to tweet love notes to Juicy J. I’ve always been a fan of his going back to the Three Six Mafia days. Back when he, Gangsta Boo, Crunchy Black, Scarecrow, and DJ Paul used to make horror core music that got banned in  my hometown VA clubs when I was a teen.

Fast forward almost 20 years later (20 years omg!) and Juicy J is still making club music and doing his part to get the strippers paid and the patrons laid. His new album is released this week and I haven’t had a chance to listen yet but from what I’m hearing the album delivers what you expect from a Juicy J work — driving beats, amusing, if not ridiculously trivial, lyrics, and the southern bred rappers usual charisma.

Everything here was plotting along fine until the mainstream white community decided they were as obsessed with asses shaking as black men have been since…well…forever. Now “twerking” is going through the same mainstream commodification that so many other black cultural indicators have experienced. Juicy J has long influenced and capitalized on southern club culture which twerking is a big part of, but stands to gain even more now that it’s in vogue. Mainstream culture is probably going to know Juicy J not as the part of a duo who miraculously won an Oscar for a song featured in the movie Hustle and Flow but as the first rapper that milquetoast-twerker Miley Cyrus first jiggled her bones in front of on stage.

Since booty rocking is now all the rage and Juicy J makes the perfect music to execute it, it make sense that he’d look for a way to market both together. I guess that’s where he got the idea of offering 50K to the woman who twerks the best. On face, there’s nothing wrong with this plan — women have been doing the equivalent of twerking for scholarships for a long time. Every “beauty” pageant is nothing but a woman putting her goodies in front of men for their judgement in return for an opportunity to go to college and learn why the pageant was patriarchal and disgusting.

So no I’m not technically opposed to Juicy J’s scholarship because women have the right to make their own choices. However, Juicy J is a 40 year old man and most of the young ladies who would be pursuing this educational opportunity would be in the 17 or 18 year old range. Yes, I just closed my eyes and pictured Juicy J and his homeboys both real and internet-based poring through thousands of videos of 17 year old girls shaking their asses just for ONE to have a chance at the American Dream and it makes me want to vomit. I guess there’s just not enough women parading themselves around for men for money, and not enough men both enjoying the parade and throwing tomatoes at the performers.

I’m not saying Juicy J should cancel the scholarship I’m just saying it’s pretty fucking gross.

 

 

ummm no.

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