Andy Reid

The Denver Broncos Continue to Treat Tim Tebow Like a Red-headed Step Child

It’s the last week of the pre-season and three teams are keeping up a ridiculous quarterback sham. The Philadelphia Eagles, Denver Broncos, and Washington Redskins are still telling everyone who will listen that they don’t know who the #2 quarterback is on their team. I have to be honest, I’m not here for that. I prefer when teams keep it real.

YOU LIE ANDY REID

The Philadephia Eagles have former Tennessee Titans STARTING Quarterback Vince Young as well as never-taken-a-snap-in-a-game-that-matters-but-definitely-seems-like-he-could-possibly-one-day 2010 4th round Eagles draft pick Mike Kafka. Young has a similar playing style to their starting QB Mike Vick and performed well enough to attend two pro bowls in the past. And before he was dramatically benched last year, he was having a pretty respectable season.

But the Eagles don’t know who their number 2 QB is? Oh okay, well let me tell you. IT’S VINCE YOUNG.

The ShanaSCAMS

The Redskins are just as pitiful with their situation. After benching a superior QB in Donovan McNabb for a spotty middling one-Rex Grossman-it seemed like the Shanahans were prepared to make a commitment to the QB (that most football watchers thought was exiled forever after leaving Chicago) until they could get a better veteran. But then the Shanahans (Head coach Mike and deeply offensive coordinator Kyle, his son) spent the entire lockout and first week of the pre-season raving about former Bringham Young QB John Beck. Beck, a man who 99.999999999% of football fans had never heard of. After no one took them seriously, the Redskins belatedly created some sort of “friendly quarterback competition” that is for all intents and purposes a complete sham.

Why? Because John Beck actually has a chance to be the Redskins QB for years to come. Grossman doesn’t. Everyone knows what Grossman can do. I can’t name a team in the league that would want to sign Grossman to a long term contract as a starter even given the dearth of talent that exists right now. You can’t rely on him to be a starter based on history and you can’t use him to train a new QB. Barring injury, the Redskins should be giving Beck the start, giving him intensive EXCLUSIVE tutelage, and figuring out what the hell he can do. Not having him split snaps and engage in some dumb ass competition with somebody who likely will spend the rest of their career as a backup.

The league is full of rookie quarterbacks and guys who have never been a starter before. They all will be learning the hard way this season. Perfect time to test out a newbie. You know what you (don’t) have in Grossman, might as well see what the deal is with Beck and stop confusing the hapless Washington media.

Ladies and Gents, Your Denver BRONCnos

Finally, the Broncos have made a mess of this entire quarterback situation. To be clear, Tim Tebow probably never should have been drafted as a quarterback in the first place. When I watch Tebow play, I feel like I’m watching a guy in a vicious battle with genetics. He knows what he needs to do but his body just won’t let him. He not only struggles with his throwing motion, simply dropping back with any sort of speed and fluidity is a test for him. The Broncos gave him the ultimate insult when they leaked to the press that Tebow just has “no football sense.” HOW LOW CAN YOU GO.

Just a few weeks ago, fans in Denver were SO TEBOW-CRAZY, wide receiver Brandon Lloyd said that the Broncos would probably HAVE to start Tebow just to keep the peace. Now here we are a short time later and Kyle Orton is the clear starter. And the Broncos are telling us that they just haven’t decided who would replace Orton if he goes down (which, he will-I’ve already put him on “ankle watch 2011″).

Brady Quinn is their number 2 and Tebow won’t be with the Broncos next season. In fact, I’d be surprised if he’s still in the league. Quinn was highly touted and then fell completely off the radar. From all accounts, Quinn has regained some confidence and looked more promising than Tebow in the professional system. This is not to say that Quinn is the Broncos QB of the future-or anyone’s QB of the future. But Quinn isn’t fighting with his DNA just to get the ball of out his hands. And if the Broncos want Tebow to be number two breaking him down publicly like this is not the way to ensure his best performance. And Quinn can definitely tell Tebow a little bit about fan hype and disappointment.

Long story short, all these teams know who their number 2 is and I’m not in the mood to play dress up with them. Have at it.

I loved Randall Cunningham as a kid, and because of him I became an Eagles fan. Cunningham had a somewhat tumultuous time with the Eagles that ended with him retiring from football feeling unappreciated and, well, dumped upon.

Sound familiar?

That’s because Donovan McNabb left the Eagles feeling the same way. And if things continue as they are, Michael Vick will too.

The Eagles are stuck in an ugly rut. A rut of close but no cigar seasons. Of cobbled together pieces. Of dissed loyal players. Of putting number crunching over success. Of doing just enough to keep fans hanging on but never enough to take it all.

If you’re an Eagles fan-especially a die hard one-this year feels like every other year. Only, maybe, this year is the year everyone takes notice that something needs to change. My recommendation? Start with the Coach.

Since 1999 Reid has been at the helm of not only the coaching staff but he is the decider as it pertains to personnel. That means the lack of emphasis on pass protection falls on his shoulders. The fact that 2 or 3 awesome defensive players have always anchored the defense with the rest of the secondary being some no-name roster fillers is all his fault. Can you name one defensive player for the Eagles while McNabb was there that isn’t named Samuel, Vincent, or Douglas? Probably not.

As I like to say, the Eagles don’t have a depth chart-they have a substitution list.

McNabb may be worn, but he’s a guy that took the Eagles far without the kind of pieces other quarter backs of his caliber had access to. You know, like multiple reliable receivers. McNabb gives you division titles, you give him Freddie Mitchell. That’s not equal.

Equal?  You want to get paid equally to other players in your position? You think rushing for more than 600 yards every season for 6 years in a row or having back to back 1000 yards rushing is worth more than a pack of skittles and a mustard-cover pretzel? Okay fine Mr. Westbrook. Take your ass to San Francisco, you career is done anyway.

Only it isn’t. Yeah yeah injuries and concussions blah…Westbrook continues to play at a high level and the Eagles currently have no run game. But! We saved 7.5 million. THIS JUST IN: Washington Redskins Dan Snyder dropped 7.5 million on the floor at Ruth’s Chris and didn’t even bother to have one of his assistants pick it up.

If injury is the reason for Westbrook’s departure, why was Jeremiah Trotter’s let go the first time? Rumor has it Reid forced him out the door because he asked for two muffins instead of one as an incentive in his contract. But you didn’t hear that from me. I mean why would a linebacker expect 361 tackles, 9 sacks, 5 interceptions, 4 forced fumbles, and 2 Pro Bowls in a span of four years to earn him a new contract?  Sidenote: Eagles later brought Trotter back for a successful 2nd and a pointless 3rd round.

Speaking of contracts, DeSean Jackson-the best wide receiver the Eagles have seen since Andy Reid has been coach (Please don’t speak to me about Terrell Owens. Don’t.ever.speak.of.him) is walking around expressing his confidence that he’ll be offered a new deal. It’s shameful that the Eagles have yet to publicly assure this dynamic player that they want him to return and they’re willing to pay for it.

Instead, they hide behind the potential lockout as a reason they won’t discuss it. This, as though an assurance has to be accompanied by concrete terms of a deal. The fact that Jackson survived the concussion that laid him out earlier in the season and came back to do this was enough to get a public vote of confidence.

But we don’t do that in Philly. We let players squirm until the clock runs out.

Clocks…clocks…Andy Reid doesn’t like clocks…or perhaps he doesn’t know what clocks do…or how much they mean during crucial moments of games. Like the time he essentially cost us the Super Bowl by mismanaging the clock, by my count, on three different occasions during the game.

All of this feels like a terrible terrible nightmare. Andy Reid has more job security than a tenured professor. He’s got me sitting in the back of the class silenced like I’m in timeout.

Timeouts…timeouts…we never have any timeouts left. WHY DON’T WE EVER HAVE ANY FUCKING TIMEOUTS LEFT?!?!?

Timeouts. Time up. The time has come for Andy Reid to go.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s not the only problem. Eagles owner Joe Banner prides himself on being the best salary cap manager in the league read: the cheapest guy on the block. Well the cap is off on my patience and is currently covering my wallet. I’m not investing another dime in this team until Eagles leadership shows me they care about winning as much as the fans and players do.

I know a lot of people don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions but I do. I made a list of things I want to change over the next year and decade. I think I did a really good job, so it follows that I’d make some resolutions for other people. To help out people in and around the NFL, I made a list of resolutions that I personally think others should make.

Roger Goodell - Begin to apply fines equitably across the league.

Donovan McNabb - Learn the difference between being professional and being a pushover.

James Harrison - Relearn the fundamentals of tackling.

Braylon Edwards - Utilize cabs.

Troy Polamalu - Put some bass in your voice.

Ryan Clark - Ignore the heckling on twitter.

Darren Sharper - Come to terms with being 35.

Brett Favre - Fall back in love with your wife Deanna.

Andy Reid - Resign.

Michael Vick - Spend money more wisely.

DeSean Jackson - Balance having fun with being professional.

Roddy White - Get media training.

Coy Wire, Cortland Finnegan - Hold a press conference announcing whether you’re black or white.

Rex Ryan - Put your face in the videos so that your wife isn’t the only one exposed.

Terrell Owens - Begin to take responsibility for your shortcomings.

Shawne Merriman - Sleep in a hyperbaric chamber and stretch before practice.

Maurice Jones-Drew, LaGarrette Blount, Michael Turner - Do side bends or situps, but please don’t lose that butt.

Eli Manning - Stand in the mirror and repeat “I am somebody” before leaving the house each day.

Jerry Jones - Consider the opinions of others.

Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, and Washington Redskins - Improve your  awful offensive lines.

Announcers, analysts, and media outlets — Stop mentioning dogfighting every time you mention Michael Vick.

Gus Johnson - Call more games of all kinds.

Bob Costas - Tone the dramatics down a notch.

Jon Gruden - Lobby for the HC gig in Cincy.

Collinsworth - Think before you speak and get some black friends.

Bob Papa - Point to Theisman and Millen and inform your bosses that you simply cannot work under these conditions.

NFLPA - Continue to make the NFLPA truly friendly toward the players and improve the information contained on the lockout site.

This is my quick list, but use the comments to tell other players, announcers, and NFL management and ownership what you think they should work on in 2011.