Rex Grossman

1. Calling Ndamukong Suh dirty -

Look at this little baby face! Now is this the face of somebody who would take your QB and throw him around like a rag doll? (hint: the answer is yes)

I’m not prepared to say that Suh is dirty yet. Right now I think he’s exuberant. Excitable. Enthusiastic. Perhaps passionate to a fault. But dirty? No. Suh’s no Hines Ward or Cortland Finnegan. He’s just over zealous sometimes and I think that’s okay. I have a feeling he will learn how to channel it (and get away with it).

2. Thursday Night games — Yeah I said it! Starting week 9 there will be a game every Thursday night for the rest of the season (same as last year). The NFL is in talks to have Thursday night games all season long on a network other than NFLnetwork. I do not want this. Football takes up a lot of my time. And as a person who has no life, but aspires to have one one day, being consumed with football on Sunday, Monday and Thursday is not gonna help me find a husband. Or even a baby daddy, for that matter.

3. Nnamdi Asomugha’s hair -

Nnamdi got tired of everyone raving about how handsome he is so he decided to put this thing on his head.

Let me start out by saying “no shade” “no offense” “not trying to insult anyone” “just my 2 cents” and all other sorts of disclaimers you give before you say something bordering on mean. I have tried to ignore Nnamdi’s hair because he’s just so darn great otherwise. But today, he was on MSNBC’s Education Nation panel (and did a fabulous job) and his hair was as wrong as ever. I AM FED UP NNAMDI! I have had it up to here with your bullshit.  I want that thing on your head gone by Sunday or you are going to feel the wrath. Sort of. No you won’t. But still. You need to cut that shit off.

4. Rex Grossman -

When Rex speaks I want to make him choose between silence and violence.

Rex Grossman is such douchelord. I hate that term but I don’t know how else to describe him. The more he wins the more miserable it will be for fans across America. He is just annoying. I mean, he really thinks he has HATERS. Rex, you don’t have haters, you have people who’ve watched you play before. Had the Skins beat the Cowboys we would have heard all sorts of unwanted commentary from Rex all week. Even God refused to let that happen. Is there something about the name Rex that requires you to be too chatty for my tastes! Cause Rex Ryan doesn’t exactly soothe my nerves either.

5. Quarterback Injuries - I don’t know how to stop this, but I’m already worn out by Mark Sanchez’s broken nose, Tony Romo’s ribs and lung, Michael Vick’s concussion and bruised-but-you-know-it’s-probably-broken hand, Matt Ryan’s knee, Peyton’s neck, Kerry Collins’ concussion. We haven’t even found out what kind of injury Jay Cutler is definitely going to sustain yet. I just don’t want to see a whole lot of sloppy starting-Quarterbackless football.

I’m open to other things that MUST BE STOPPED, but this is my list.

Washington Redskins Laron Landry in Quasi-Linebacker Form

I live for little bits and pieces of honesty from players I like. Washington Redskins safety Laron Landry is one of my favorite Defensive Backs, and apparently fans have been questioning him on twitter about his progress. Landry expressed frustration about how his injury has been handled by the Redskins in some tweets that have since been deleted. I’m sure he was hacked…but on the off chance he wasn’t, the Washington Post says:

“Uuhhh oo it ain’t my fault…blame the genius circus staff for the rush. wouldve been there 2wks ago. Im [sorry] but saga [continues],” Landry said in atweet that has since been deleted.

On Saturday, Landry tweeted, “Dont u hate when u absolutely know something 200% and dumb. . . still do the opposite of what u tell them!!! Set backs. . . !!!” The message contained three vulgarities.

Landry hasn’t exactly been forthcoming when asked directly about the situation. On Monday, when he was asked about the status of the strained hamstring that forced him to miss the last two preseason games-after rehabbing the strained left Achilles’ tendon that cost him all of training camp and the start of the preseason-Landry said only “every day is progress.” Landry, who last season recorded 85 tackles, a sack, an interception and a forced fumble in just nine games, also maintained hope that he would play Sunday in the regular season opener.

Side note: Why do defensive players use so many exclamation points when they type? This is a trend I’m noticing. Maybe it’s just a symptom of having an aggressive personality or something.

Moving right along, I can’t tell from these tweets what exactly is going on on the Redskins but this is a dysfunctional team so really you never know.

Only last week did I confidently predict that John Beck would be starting over Rex Grossman, only to be brutally rebuffed when the Redskins announced Grossman as the starter for week 1 (they keep saying week 1…is he the starter for week 1 or the starter period?). I need to marinate on this. Grossman has taken over 1100 snaps in a regular season games to Beck’s 3 (over the entirety of their careers). He also has a year more in the Redskins “system” (whatever that is). If I see two people with those numbers I’d expect the person with more experience and snaps to easily play better than the guy who has barely had a chance. The fact that Grossman didn’t blow Beck out of the water is a bad sign to me.

For Beck’s comment, he is PISSED. His words, not mine. Another interesting round in Redskins land.

The Denver Broncos Continue to Treat Tim Tebow Like a Red-headed Step Child

It’s the last week of the pre-season and three teams are keeping up a ridiculous quarterback sham. The Philadelphia Eagles, Denver Broncos, and Washington Redskins are still telling everyone who will listen that they don’t know who the #2 quarterback is on their team. I have to be honest, I’m not here for that. I prefer when teams keep it real.

YOU LIE ANDY REID

The Philadephia Eagles have former Tennessee Titans STARTING Quarterback Vince Young as well as never-taken-a-snap-in-a-game-that-matters-but-definitely-seems-like-he-could-possibly-one-day 2010 4th round Eagles draft pick Mike Kafka. Young has a similar playing style to their starting QB Mike Vick and performed well enough to attend two pro bowls in the past. And before he was dramatically benched last year, he was having a pretty respectable season.

But the Eagles don’t know who their number 2 QB is? Oh okay, well let me tell you. IT’S VINCE YOUNG.

The ShanaSCAMS

The Redskins are just as pitiful with their situation. After benching a superior QB in Donovan McNabb for a spotty middling one-Rex Grossman-it seemed like the Shanahans were prepared to make a commitment to the QB (that most football watchers thought was exiled forever after leaving Chicago) until they could get a better veteran. But then the Shanahans (Head coach Mike and deeply offensive coordinator Kyle, his son) spent the entire lockout and first week of the pre-season raving about former Bringham Young QB John Beck. Beck, a man who 99.999999999% of football fans had never heard of. After no one took them seriously, the Redskins belatedly created some sort of “friendly quarterback competition” that is for all intents and purposes a complete sham.

Why? Because John Beck actually has a chance to be the Redskins QB for years to come. Grossman doesn’t. Everyone knows what Grossman can do. I can’t name a team in the league that would want to sign Grossman to a long term contract as a starter even given the dearth of talent that exists right now. You can’t rely on him to be a starter based on history and you can’t use him to train a new QB. Barring injury, the Redskins should be giving Beck the start, giving him intensive EXCLUSIVE tutelage, and figuring out what the hell he can do. Not having him split snaps and engage in some dumb ass competition with somebody who likely will spend the rest of their career as a backup.

The league is full of rookie quarterbacks and guys who have never been a starter before. They all will be learning the hard way this season. Perfect time to test out a newbie. You know what you (don’t) have in Grossman, might as well see what the deal is with Beck and stop confusing the hapless Washington media.

Ladies and Gents, Your Denver BRONCnos

Finally, the Broncos have made a mess of this entire quarterback situation. To be clear, Tim Tebow probably never should have been drafted as a quarterback in the first place. When I watch Tebow play, I feel like I’m watching a guy in a vicious battle with genetics. He knows what he needs to do but his body just won’t let him. He not only struggles with his throwing motion, simply dropping back with any sort of speed and fluidity is a test for him. The Broncos gave him the ultimate insult when they leaked to the press that Tebow just has “no football sense.” HOW LOW CAN YOU GO.

Just a few weeks ago, fans in Denver were SO TEBOW-CRAZY, wide receiver Brandon Lloyd said that the Broncos would probably HAVE to start Tebow just to keep the peace. Now here we are a short time later and Kyle Orton is the clear starter. And the Broncos are telling us that they just haven’t decided who would replace Orton if he goes down (which, he will-I’ve already put him on “ankle watch 2011″).

Brady Quinn is their number 2 and Tebow won’t be with the Broncos next season. In fact, I’d be surprised if he’s still in the league. Quinn was highly touted and then fell completely off the radar. From all accounts, Quinn has regained some confidence and looked more promising than Tebow in the professional system. This is not to say that Quinn is the Broncos QB of the future-or anyone’s QB of the future. But Quinn isn’t fighting with his DNA just to get the ball of out his hands. And if the Broncos want Tebow to be number two breaking him down publicly like this is not the way to ensure his best performance. And Quinn can definitely tell Tebow a little bit about fan hype and disappointment.

Long story short, all these teams know who their number 2 is and I’m not in the mood to play dress up with them. Have at it.