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If there’s anything sports fans love it’s a narrative. Remember: Kevin Durant is humble. Gregg Popovich is cool. Phil Jackson is zen. The San Antonio Spurs are boring. Russell Westbrook is selfish. Lebron isn’t clutch.

A real sports fan would never let the truth get in the way of what they already think. Though I must admit that last night Lebron did an awful lot (for the 100th time) to prove he’s not the loser losers think he is. But why let that get in the way? I have a few arguments you can use to make sure no one changes your mind about Lebron James no matter how many times he gives the best performance in a playoff game in 48 years.

1. Lebron still isn’t clutch. Sure he was great the first 4 quarters but where was he the last 4 minutes of the game? Shameful! A clutch player should never sit out the end of the game when his teammates are relying on him to keep them up by 30.

2. Lebron has no heart. Did you see the totally ridiculous way he handled that fan that threw a drink on him after the game? He just kept walking. He shrugged it off like it didn’t matter. It was as if he doesn’t care. Where’s the passion? Where’s the emotion? Typical Lebron. Soft.

3. He doesn’t get his teammates involved. Any player that ends a game with more points, more rebounds, and more assists than the other top three players on the other team combined clearly can’t manage to get his teammates going. By dominating the game from one end to the floor to another he totally took his teammates out of their rhythm. How can anyone get going when one player keeps going and going? Bueller??

4. Where was this Lebron the other 78 games? If Lebron can play like this why doesn’t he do it EVERY NIGHT. How hard is it to take almost all the shots, grab most of the rebounds and play point forward for almost 48 minutes. Hello, it’s called earning your paycheck. What a bum.

Let me know if these work.