Los Angeles Laker Dwight Howard (I hate the way that sounds!) swears he wasn’t drunk when he was putting us through all that trade drama last season.

I don’t know if it’s true or false that Dwight Howard had never tasted alcohol before he was traded from the Orlando Magic to the Los Angeles Lakers but I do know that’s what he claimed according to Lee Jenkins at Sports Illustrated.

Being traded to the Lakers drove Dwight Howard to drink … well, sort of.

Jenkins writes that Howard, who attended high school at a Christian Academy (Ga.), felt “sheltered” upon his arrival in the NBA and wakes up early every morning to read the Bible. Until this summer, Howard says he had never had an adult beverage.

[To finish reading whether I believe Dwight Howard or not click Read More]

When the Magic, Lakers, Denver Nuggets and Philadelphia 76ers put the finishing touches on a complicated, blockbuster trade that sent Howard to L.A. after months and months of trade rumors and speculation, the three-time Defensive Player of the Year allowed himself a celebratory moment.

On the night of Aug. 10, when Howard was dealt to the Lakers, he went to dinner at Mastro’s in Beverly Hills, and a large group of strangers invited him to their private room. “They said, ‘Dwight, we want to welcome you to L.A. and make a toast to you and your new journey here,’ ” Howard recalls. “I told them, ‘Thank you, but I don’t drink, I’ve never had a drink before.’ And then I thought about it, and I was like, You know what, I think this deserves a drink.” He clinked glasses and lifted one to his lips.

Surely, 3,000 miles away in central Florida, there was some drinking going on too.

On one hand Dwight comes off so utterly sleazy I find his story doubtful. On the other hand he’s corny enough for it to be true. Bottom line: I don’t know whether to believe this story or not. I mean this is the guy who spent a lot of time convincing everyone that his Christian values were important to him only to later rack up a few kids by different women. Now we’re supposed to believe he bounced around all those club parties he hosted drinking only water with lime? And if he wasn’t drunk all last season then how does he explain his behavior? It’s one thing to say you don’t drink, it’s another to say you’ve never tasted alcohol before. Maybe he was talking about rubbing alcohol. I’ve never drank that either. No, seriously. I haven’t.

I know no one really cares if a grown adult male AND FATHER drinks alcohol or not, but for kicks, do you believe this or no?

For the record, a thug like myself had alcohol for the first time in elementary school. I mean, I drank out of my mom’s beer when she wasn’t looking but the point is I wasn’t a liquor virgin at 26 years old like this young man claims to be.